Wednesday, May 14, 2008

on warm milk and laxatives

It seems my body grew tired that the subtle hints it had been sending me that my dietary habits needed changing were going unheeded, and decided that the only way I would take notice was if the message was delivered more forcefully. This message was received loud and clear last night, when a week's worth fast food binging--the pinnacle of which being the rather disgusting amount of Skyline and ballpark food I consumed yesterday--ended with me with one of my body seated on the toilet and the other buried in the bathroom garbage can. I apologize for giving you all the unpleasant mental images that accompany my gastrointestinal habits, but you should really be thankfully you didn't have to endure the smell that accompanied my body's revolt against its the fuel I had been giving it.

I may allow myself to be stubborn and stupid in many situations, but I like to think I can take a hint from my own body, at least when that hint is delivered with sledgehammer-like force. I'm heading to the grocery again tomorrow morning to reinforce my supplies of moderately healthy food, and avoiding fast food for awhile. Hopefully I can stay consistent with this.

2 comments:

dougie said...

Instead of changing your diet, why don't you start doing heroin to mask the stomach pain. The trick is to keep raising the dose until it doesn't work anymore. Then Jess can kill you and cover it up as a suicide. Then we'll start a prolonged legal battle with her over the rights to publish your pictures.

Anonymous said...

lol oh my. i just read this, and all i can say is... wow.