Friday, May 14, 2004

things have never been so swell, and i have never felt this well

i got the job at delhi, rock on! i start on tuesday, and it's gonna be awesome workin the half-days when doug and i are the only two workers left in the park. that's going to be a recipe for disaster.

i'm feelin' really burnt out on school. i'm tired of writing all these papers and taking all these tests, because i don't feel like i'm accomplishing anything. for one, i don't really learn anything. i've always thought that the education system is pointless the way someone (me) can get through by regurgitating facts back on tests and cranking out bs papers. really, i'm just getting frustrated on the whole lack of major thing. history? i really don't think i want to teach. sounds boring. but what else do you do with history? political science? maybe, but still what do you do with it? besides, i'd be so angry and bitter all the time with all the left-wing professors shoving their opinions at me that i would be miserable. so what else? i don't just want a major, i want an idea of what i want to freakin' do for a career. college is too expensive and time consuming to simply wing it, pick a major, and wait to see where i find myself.

of course, a lot of this frustration probably has a lot to do with my lack of quality time with God. for one, i need something appealing to go through (read) and then the time and motivation to do it. it's not that i'm not talking to him, i'm doin' a whole lot of that. i've been searching for guidance in a number of issues, but i'm just not feeling any leading. i'm sure he's talking, but i must not really be listening, because all i can come up with are my feelings, which flip-flop more than john kerry.

No comments: