big bang baby

A group of rogue astronomers have viciously stripped Pluto of it's status as a planet today. The extremist organization, known as the International Astronomical Union, launched it's assault on the distant satellite from Prague. The IAU cited Pluto's oblong orbit that overlaps with Neptune's and the presence of Plutonian soldiers in the Czech holy city of Ústí nad Labemfont as the reasons for the attack. In addition to the downgrade of Pluto from a traditional planet to a "dwarf planet", the IAU demanded the release of twelve political prisoners including František Ladislav Čelakovský, who have been held since 1996 for attempting to blow up the several prominent buildings in downtown Pluto City. Pluto has yet to issue a formal statement responding to these attacks, other than commenting that it prefers the term "vertically-challenged planet".